130 Ways To Really Annoy People – #43 Will Really Piss Them Off

130 ways to really annoy people

It’s always very useful to know many different ways to get under people’s skin. You never know when you might need it. So here are our 130 ways to really annoy people.

  1. Let your phone make annoying noises.
  2. Try making conversation with a stranger who is obviously busy.
  3. Spill your stuff everywhere.
  4. Talk loudly in public.
  5. Stare at people.
  6. Say YOLO in every Facebook post you do.
  7. Write #YOLO in every Twitter post you do.
  8. Tell people that you promise not to tell them what happens next in a film you have already seen, but do it anyway.
  9. Drum on every available surface.
  10. Do the running man whenever you are on a dance floor. For any song.
  11. Tell a really long joke and then forget the punchline, but then assure them that ‘it was great’.
  12. When people are waiting behind you in a queue take ages to pay for whatever you are paying for (for maximum effect in pennies).
  13. When Christmas carolling sing ‘Jingle Bells, Batman Smells’ until someone physically restrains you.
  14. Talk only in obscure pop culture references and memes.
  15. Whenever someone tries to talk to you on Facebook Chat immediately log off. Repeat this every time they try in future.
  16. Cut a pizza slice shape out of the middle of a pizza.
  17. Go on someone’s Facebook timeline and like everything ever posted on there (this could take some time).
  18. Text someone ‘AHHHHHHHH’ twenty times in a row. When they ask what you were doing just say ‘didn’t you ask for an ahhhhhhhlarm?’
  19. Talk about how much work you have to do all the time.
  20. Have a really frequent, yet tiny cough.
  21. Cough really loudly and startle people.
  22. When you sneeze make sure you boom it out as loud as possible. Your power will impress everyone.
  23. Overuse the word ‘literally’ until someone literally punches you.
  24. Try and high five everyone you meet.
  25. Sit there and shake your leg like you’re a metronome.
  26. Deliberately hum catchy songs that will then get into peoples heads and annoy them all day.
  27. Hum quietly to yourself when in a large group of people so that no one knows who it is doing it.
  28. Sing the opening to the Batman theme to yourself constantly.
  29. Ask people really weird questions then pretend to write down something when they answer.
  30. When offered food by someone take an unreasonable amount.
  31. When offered food make sure you rummage around touching as much of it as possible before declining their offer.
  32. Name your cat ‘Mr Cat’.
  33. When on a night out always remind people of exactly what you’ve had to drink up to this point (even better if you lie and exaggerate).
  34. Listen to crappy music on your crappy phone speakers on public transport.
  35. Ask people what gender they are ‘just to make sure’.
  36. Listen to the same song 40 times in a row so that your roommate can hear it.
  37. Say the word UNAY about 50 times a night when you’re drunk (even when you aren’t at uni).
  38. Tap people on the opposite shoulder to the one nearest you. Then when they turn around and look at no one, laugh at them.
    44 above
  39. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
  40. Leave your turn signal on for at least fifty miles.
  41. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
  42. Practice loudly making fax and modem noises.
  43. Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio, and then talk into it.
  44. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  45. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
  46. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as it is part of your “astronaut training.”
  47. Learn Morse Code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeeeeep Bip Bip Beeeeeep Bip.”
  48. Forget the punchline to a long joke, then assure the listener before you move on that it was a “real hoot.”
  50. Order a side of pork rinds with your Filet Mignon.
  51. Write “X-BURIED TREASURE” in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
  52. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, then place the cookie halves back in the tray.
  53. Sing along at the opera where you will be heard.
  54. Construct your own pretend “tricorder”, and “scan” people with it, announcing the results.
  55. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your “imaginary friend.”
  56. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  57. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “no, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat several times.
  58. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
  59. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
  60. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and place them to reroute whole streets.
  61. Drive half a block.
  62. Construct elaborate “crop circles” in your front lawn.
  63. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  64. Never make eye contact.
  65. Never break eye contact.
  66. Specify and remind the person that your drive-thru order is “to go.”
  67. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  68. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply stay and eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
  69. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
  70. Repeat everything someone says as a question.
  71. Set alarms for random times.
  72. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
  73. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
  74. At the laudromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
  75. only type in lowercase.
  76. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
  77. Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”
  78. Honk and wave to strangers.
  79. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
  80. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
  81. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  82. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling as they read.
  83. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
  84. Begin all your sentences with “ooh la la!”
  85. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  86. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  87. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO? O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.
  88. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
  89. Give a play-by-play account of a person’s every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
  90. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don’t want to fall off “in case the big one comes.”
  91. Wear your pants backwards.
  92. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  93. When someone is trying to count just shout out random numbers to put them off.
  94. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  95. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
  96. Tape pieces of “Sweating to the Oldies” over climactic parts of rental movies.
  97. dont use any punctuation either
  98. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
  99. Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador.”
  100. Listen to 33 rpm records at 45 rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your “superior mental processing.”
  101. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
  102. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
  103. Chew on pens you’ve borrowed.
  104. Wear a LOT of cologne.
  105. Mow your lawn with scissors.
  106. Change your name to “John Aaaaaaasmith” for the great glory of being first in the book. Claim it’s a Hawaiian name, and demand that people prounce each “a.”
  107. At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suh-WING-batter!”
  108. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
  109. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
  110. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  111. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  112. Declare you apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace.”
  113. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
  114. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
  115. Lie obviously about trivial things, such as the time of day.
  116. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
  117. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
  118. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with the prophecy.”
  119. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psycological profiles.”
  120. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”
  121. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
  122. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper , 99 copies.
  123. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.
  124. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  125. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “swipe your grub.”
  126. Sniffle incessantly.
  127. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
  128. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  129. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  130. Speak only in a “robot” voice.

One Response

  1. Cascia Talbert September 8, 2016

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