20 Funniest Quotes Ever Will Help You Live Longer!

20 funniest quotes

Brighten up your day with the 20 funniest quotes ever. Here we have collected what we believe are the wittiest of the witty.

It may sound like a cliche. But laughter definitely is the best medicine. It’s better than a mini-workout at the gym. That’s something all experts agree on – and you know how hard it is to get them to agree on anything!

During a laughing session the muscles in the chest, abdomen, neck, shoulder, face and scalp get a beneficial workout. Other parts of the body are more relaxed. That’s the equivalent of a mini-workout any day of the week!

Lowers BP, Prevents Strokes

Laughter eases tension, stress and anger, and it can also help ward off heart attacks. It lowers blood pressure. And it can help prevent the circulatory sluggishness that leads to strokes.

As well as being therapeutic it benefits life and well-being in many ways. For example, smiling helps your immune system to work better. And it’s also a natural drug – the good kind. Did you know it releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and also serotonin? These make us feel good.

Being a smiler can be way more fun than being a grouch! And, everyone agrees, smiling makes you a much more attractive person. Now when did you ever see an ugly smiler?

And how many people do you know, or have heard of, that died laughing? Yes, we figured. Zero! So remember, a good laugh is free – it costs absolutely nothing and will help you live longer. Therefore don’t forget to take your daily dose of Funny Quotes medicine!

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening. ~ Alexander Woollcott

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” ~ Spike Milligan

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the universe.” ~ Albert Einstein

Here’s to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life’s problems.” ~ Homer Simpson

Mr. Right is coming. But he’s in Africa and he’s walking.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Heaven For The Climate, Hell For…

I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.” ~ Charles Monroe Schultz

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” ~ Groucho Marx

I can resist everything except temptation.” ~ Oscar Wilde

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” ~ Clint Eastwood

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” ~ Oliver Herford

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” ~ Margaret Mead

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” ~ Lana Turner

I never said most of the things I said.” ~ Yogi Berra

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” ~ Douglas Adams

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” ~ Mark Twain

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ~ Phyllis Diller

One Response

  1. Deni September 20, 2016

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