A
guy comes home three sheets to the wind and all three sheets
ripping bad, Budweiser sloshing around in his belly like a
keg adrift in a roiling sea. He sloshes through the door and
is met by his wife, who is scowling, figuring he's been out
jumping new bones.
"Where the hell you been all night?" she demands.
"At this fantastic new saloon," he says. "The
Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden."
"Bullshit! There's no such place!"
Guy says, "Sure there is! Joint's got huge golden
doors, a golden floor. Hell, even the urinal's gold!"
The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next
day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called
the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's
story. "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when
the bartender answers the phone.
"Yes, it is," bartender answers.
"Do you have huge golden doors?"
"Sure do."
"Do you have golden floors?"
"Most certainly do."
"What about golden urinals?"
There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender
yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy
who pissed in your saxophone!"
