YOU MAY BE DRINKING TOO MUCH
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off
3. Job interfering with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet
7. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food
8. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?
9. Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in
12. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
13. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger,
14. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
15. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
16. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
17. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you walk in.
18. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine,
Alcohol, and Women.
19. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's
cat more and more attractive.
20. Roseanne looks good.
21. Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
22. That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.
23. Senator's Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when
they walk past you.
24."I'm as jober as a sudge."
25. The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.