EVERYONE A DRINK
drunk staggers into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd
like to buy everyone in the bar a drink and get one for
yourself too!" The bartender makes the drinks and everyone
raises their glass and yells "CHEERS!" and downs
The bartender says "That'll be $37.50."
The drunk says, "I don't have any money!"
This infuriates the bartender who then jumps over the bar
and beats the living daylights out of the drunk and throws
him out into the street.
The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar and
says, "I'd like to buy the whole bar a drink, and get
one for yourself, too." The bartender figures that
maybe he was a little hard on the guy the day before and
decides to give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
He makes the drinks and they all say, "Salute!"
and down the drinks. The bartender says, "That'll be
The drunk replies by putting his thumb to his nose, wiggling
his fingers, and making a loud raspberry noise followed
by, "I don't have any money!"
This angers the bartender even more than the first time.
He jumps over the bar and beats the hell out of the drunk
and throws him out into the street onto his face and kicks
him a few times for good measure.
The next day the same drunk walks into the same bar, but
before he can say anything the bartender says, "Let
me guess, you want to buy the whole bar a drink and I should
get one for myself, too, right?"
The drunk replies, "No way, you get too violent when