pony walks into a bar and says "Bartender, may I have
Bartender says "What? I can't hear you. Speak up!"
"May I please have a drink?"
"What? You have to speak up!"
"Could I please have a drink?"
"Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse."
A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing-eye dog. When
the blind man reaches the center of the bar, he snatches
the dog up by his collar and starts swinging him around
The bartender speaks up and says "Hey what the hell
are you doing?"
The blind man says, "Just taking a look around.."
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner
licking his balls.
He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I
could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him
This guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
The bartender says, "Hey, what's that?"
To which the frog replies "I don't know. It started
as a wart on my bum and this happened."
A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man,
"Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. It's driving me nuts!"
There is this bear, right, and he walks into a bar. He
goes up to the bartender and says "Can I have a large
Gin and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . Tonic Please?"
The Barman replies "Yeah sure, but what's with the
The bear holds up his paws and says "I'm a bear!!"
A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar and says to the
barman "Pint of your best."
While waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van
Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him
and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"
"Yes" the old man replies.
"Do you want a pint?"
"No, ta. I've got one 'ere."