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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

REASONS TO OWN A CAT OVER A DOG

1. Cats rule. Dogs drool.

2. Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're horny.

3. Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.

4. In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner's choking on saliva     during morning wake-up licks.

5. Cats always land on their feet. Dogs won't even let you throw them.

6. Cats let you kick them when you're stressed out.

7. Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to shreds.

8. Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs crash right in front of the screen.

9. No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat."

10. Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others'.

11. Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.

12. Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.

13. Why do you think they call it "Dog Breath?"

14. Garfield. Odie. Enough said

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