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DANGEROUS VENOMOUS SNAKE

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fangless, with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and subspecies.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks, mainly women, in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then, a severe swelling, followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. However, it has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, which may result in an incurable disease and possible death.

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE:Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body, only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED

TORNIQUET: Do not apply a torniquet, as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

MILKING THE SNAKE
1. Place 4 fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front.
2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion.
3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive and start spitting.
4. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked.
5. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION:
This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin and, treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

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'Obama is Irish' song smash hit on YouTube

Yup. Barack Obama, 44th President of the good old USA is as Irish as Bono. His great-great-grandfather came from Moneygall in County Offaly.

To celebrate, we present the song 'There's No One as Irish as Barack Obama', sung by Hardy Drew and the Nancy Boys. It became an instant big hit on YouTube, getting nearly 400,000 views in the first two weeks.

The band have been invited to Washington DC by Irish American Democrats to perform at Obama's inauguration party on 19th of Janurary 2009. Go Irish!

So get practising! To help you out, here's the words of the song:

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