Why do elephants have long trunks?
Because sheep don't have strings.

How do porcupines make love?
Veerry carefully!

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Footprints in the butter.

How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.

How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
Can't get the fridge door closed.

Diner: "Do you serve chicken here?"
Waiter: "We serve anyone sir."

A snail got mugged by two tortoises. When he went to the police, they questioned him as to what happened. He said, "I don't know, it all happened so quickly."

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.