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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

I'M SO HARD

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking. The first says, "I'm so hard, once ate a whole bag full of rat poison!"

The second says, "Well I'm so hard, once I was caught in a rat trap and I gnawed it apart!"

Then the third rat gets up and says, "Bye guys, I'm off home to screw the cat…"

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