Thou
shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the
modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the
modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor
as thou are transparent.
Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking
thy butt.
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's
genital region.
Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking
on it.
Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged
lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human
is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at
4a.m.
Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from
which to escape at any opportunity.
Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking
too slow.
Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are
guests in thy house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that
houseplants are not meat.
Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.