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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

BLONDE BRIEFS

How are a blondes like spaghetti?
They squirm when you eat them.

What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of a pool?
An air bubble.

What do you call 10 blondes in a row?
A wind tunnel.

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Why is a blondes brain pea sized in the morning?
It swelled.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence.

What do a blonde and a screen door have in common?
The more you bang them the looser they get.

Did you hear about the blonde who broke her arm?
She was raking leaves when she fell out of the tree.

What do turtles and blondes have in common?
Once there on their back they're screwed.

How is a blonde like a doorknob?
Everybody gets a turn.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

What do blondes do in the morning?
Get up and go home.

What do blondes say in the morning?
Who are you guys anyways.

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.

Why did the blonde get fired from the m & m factory?
She threw out all the ones with w's.

What can strike a blonde without them even knowing it?
A thought.

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Red means stop.

What is the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
You take your shoe's off before you get on a trampoline.

Why don't blondes like vibrators?
They're hard on their teeth.

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus jump off of a bridge, who makes the bigger splash?
The dumb blonde because the others don't exist.

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.

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