Mother and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college.
I have been remiss in writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness
in not having written before. I will bring you up to date
now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not
to read any further unless you are sitting down... Okay?
Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull
fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the
window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after
my arrival, are pretty well healed now. I only spent two
weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally
and only get three headaches a day.
Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were
witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm
and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the
ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital, and since
I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dorm, he
was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with
him. It's really a basement room, but it is kind of cute.
He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love
and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact
date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you
are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you
will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion
and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason
for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some
minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital
blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will
soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking
I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms.
He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious.
Although he is of a different race and religion than ours,
I know you expressed tolerance will not permit you to be
bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family
background is good, too for I am told that his father is
an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell
you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion
or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant,
I am not engaged, I do not have syphillis and there is no
boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a "D"
in History and an "F" in Science, and I wanted
you to see these marks in the proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,