are actual excerpts from student science exam papers:
The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the
water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can
get back in.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called
A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male
wears a condominium.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame
in a test tube.
Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what
you are talking about.
Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.
A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a
bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good
We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by
spontaneous generation and study of rocks.
English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and
soil his corpse.
By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them
and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than
it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called
an obscene triangle.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not
quite so often in the winter.
The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.
When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get
It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the
Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human
branes have more convulsions.
For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub
her arm above the hand instead.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it
gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the