OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG
You know you've been out of college too long when...
- Your potted plants stay alive.
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
- You carry an umbrella.
- You watch the Weather Channel.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
- You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 PM.
- Dinner and a movie - the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
- MTV News is no longer your primary source of information.
- You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- Grocery lists are longer than Macaroni & Cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Hos.
- "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
- You don't get liquored up at home to save money before going to a bar.