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REDNECKS & CULCHIES APPLY HERE!!!


APPLICATION TO LIVE WITHIN

THE

CITY OR COUNTY
OF

Dublin
(Including Fingal)

Anyone not born within the City and County of Dublin will now be required to
Complete the attached application form and return it to:

The Immigration and Population Control Officer

(Culchie Section)

Dublin Corporation Offices

Wood Quay

Dublin 2.

within 21 days of arriving in the City or County of Dublin

Application to live in the City or County of Dublin.
(Including Fingal)


Name:__________________________

Nickname : (what your friends call you ) __________________________

Address : ( herd number ) _________________________

Father: ( otherwise known as Daddy ) ____________________________
( If you don't know your Daddy, list three suspects )

Mother: _____________________________


Neck Shade: Light Red  Medium Red  Dark Red 

Do You own you own teeth ? Yes  No 

If borrowed, please state from whom. ________________________

Number of Teeth in Full Grin: Upper: _____ Lower: _____

Length of Right Leg: ____ Length of Left Leg: ____

How many wellies do you own ? ______ (pairs)

Size of Farm:
(please tick)

Middlin'  Smallish  Bit of a Field  Only A Bog 


Make of your Tractor: ________________ Weight of Your Tractor: ___________

Tractor Equipped With (please tick) : Gun Rack  4 Wheel Drive  Cassette Deck  Load of Turf  Ford Cortina Shock Absorbers  Truck Wheels  Sawdoctor's CDs  Mud Flaps 
Toothpick Holder  Big Dog  Goat's Hide 

Number of empty Beer Cans on floor of your tractor: _________

BUMPER STICKERS SHOWN :
(please tick)

"Well Holy God"  Me Other Car Is A Piece of SHITE Too  If you're not from Cavan, you're not worth a shite  Mayo for Sam  Honk if you love Glenroe  Supermacs 


FAVOURITE VOCALIST:
(please tick)

Margo  Big Tom  Loretta Lynn  Hank Williams  Brendan Shine  Garth Brooks  Tammy Wynette  Declan Nerney  Daniel O' Donnell  Meself  What's A Vocalist? 

FAVOURITE RECREATION:
(please tick)

Line Dancin'  Sheep Shaggin'  Slurry Smellin'  Bailin' Hay  Dole Signin'  Drinkin'  Chewin' Tabacca  Belchin'  Spittin'  Other 

Name(s) of Daughter(s) :
(please tick)

Mary  Biddy  Bridie  Udder 


Weapons Owned :
(please tick)

Shovel  Power or Chain Saw  Pick Handle  Slash Hook  Hurley  Other 

Cap Emblem:
(please tick)

Guinness  Smithwicks  Massey Ferguson  Net Nitrate 10-10-20  Kerry Co-Op 
Smile if you're wearin' wellies 


Number of Dependants : Legal ___ Claimed ___
Number of Welfare Cheques Claimed ____

Number of Weeks Unemployed: ______ (REALLY ____ )

Membership Of:
(please tick)

GAA  IFA  Macra  ICA  Youth Defence  Fine Gael 

Car Model:
(please tick)

Ford Cortina  Ford Escort MK1  Ford Escort MK2  Fiat Ritmo  VW Jetta  Humber  Honda 50 


How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your yard ? _____

Are you married to any of the following :
(please tick)

Sister  Brother  Cousin  Cow 

Does your wife weigh more than your tractor ? Yes  No 

Can you write your name and get the spelling right every time ? Yes  No 

Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend ? ________ If Yes, Why ? __________

Can you count to :
(please tick)

Ten with your shoes on  Twenty-one with your fly closed 

Medical History:

B.O.  Bovine T.B.  Smelly Feet  Runny Nose  Bad Breath  Head Lice  Sheep Lice 
Foot & Mouth Disease 

Please give the same information in respect to yourself. 

THANK YOU FOR FILLING IN THIS FORM

We Will Let You Know If Ewe Can Stay Next Week.

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Marriage Quotes by Men
  • I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
  • It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
  • Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
  • A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out...'
  • Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
  • How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

    Read More

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