wife had been killed in an accident and the police were
questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before
she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without
interruption for about forty years," said Finnegan.
An IRA man shows up at the pearly gates and St. Peter comes
out to greet him. St. Peter takes one look and says "I
don't think you can get in here.The IRA man says"Who
wants in? You've twenty minutes to get the *#[email protected] out!
"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?"
asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt. "Do we now?"
came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.
Seamus do you understand French, I do if its spoken in Irish.
Two Irishmen had just won $5000,000 in a lottery. Having
a pint in a pub Tim say to Sean, what about all them beggin
letters, Sean replies, we'll just keep sending them.
What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?
The both lived with their mother until they were 33 and
neither had a job.
How do we know that Christ was Irish?
Because he was 33 still lived at home thought his mother
was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.
Paddy was rather sad after viewing the body of a dead atheist.
"There he was. All dressed up and no place to go."
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when de came across
a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician
and an honest man."
"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how
they got the two of them in one grave."
Seamus was getting irate and shouted upstairs to his wife,"
Hurry up or we'll be late."
"Oh, be quiet," replied his wife. "Haven't
I been telling you for the last hour that I'll be ready
in a minute?"
Two lawyers standing before an Irish judge got into a fierce
At last one lawyer lost his temper and shouted, "Sir
you are the biggest fool that I have set eyes on."
"Order, order," said the Irish judge. "You
seem to forget that I am in the room."
Incomprehensibly, the last coach of the train on a normal
route kept getting smashed up by vandals. A porter came
up with an idea.
"Why don't we leave the last coach off!"
"Well, Mike," said the doctor. "I can't quite
diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink."
"Sure, that's all right, doctor," said Mike. "I
know how you feel. I'll come back when you're sober."
She followed her husband to the public house. "How
can you come here," she said, taking a sip of his pint
of Guinness, "and drink that awful stuff?"
"Now!" he cried, "And you always said I was
out enjoying meself."
Why does it take five Irishmen to change a lightbulb?
One to change the bulb. Four to remark about how grand the
old bulb was.
"I hear Murphy died, " said Pat. "Was he
"No," said Mick. "He died in the best of
First Irish Farmer: "My cow fell down a hole and I
had to shoot it."
Second Irish Farmer: "Did you shoot it in the hole?"
First Irish Farmer: " No, in the head."
O'Connell was staggering home with a small Paddy in his
back pocket when he
slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt
something wet running
down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"