IAN PAISLEY GOES TO HEAVEN

Paisley died and went to heaven. When he got there he knocked long and hard on the pearly gates. St.Peter came out and asked his name.

YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ? I'M THE REV. IAN PAISLEY He roared at St. Peter. St. Peter looked at his list and could not find his name. Sorry said St.Peter you're not on the list.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT ON THE LIST??? DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM? As a matter of fact I do, said St. Peter, but your name is not on the list, THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON MY NAME SHOULD BE ON THE LIST. St. Peter tried to explain that it's not easy to get into heaven, that you have to be a Catholic. When Paisley hears this he starts to complain. So St. Peter says that had he had been good to Catholics he would have some chance.

WELL, roared Paisley, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO CATHOLICS, WHY ONLY TWO WEEKS AGO I MET A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAD MADE HER COMMUNION AND I GAVE HER A POUND AND TWO WEEKS BEFORE I MET A YOUNG BOY WHO HAD MADE HIS COMMUNION AND I HAVE HIM A POUND, NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW MR. ST. PETER!

St. Peter took a few notes on what he said. He told Paisley to wait that he would have to go and talk to GOD and get some advice. About ten minutes later St. Peter come out and said to Paisley, HERE'S YOUR TWO POUNDS BACK, NOW FUCK OFF.