Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets
for the opening ceremonies of the Olympics but hoped to
be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very
tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with
a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman
came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing
a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate
and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the
site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented
himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer."
He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly
ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing
a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate
and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."