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GULF WAR HERO

It was the end of the Gulf War. The Arabs stared over at the oil fields and watched them burning. Day and night the flames roared into the sky. The Arabs pondered on how they were going to put out the fires when one Arab suggested that they ring 'Red Adare'. Red Adare was contacted but informed the Arabs that he was busy for the next six months. Red Adare told the Arabs that they should ring his cousin Paddy O Dare from Co Mayo in Ireland.

The Arab got on the phone and contacted Paddy. The Arab explained the problem with the Oil Fields to Paddy and asked if he could help. Paddy Replied: "No Problem." The Arab asked him how quick he could get there and how much would it cost?. Paddy Replied: "I can be there in 10 Hours and it'll cost ya' $10,000. "Great"; said the Arab and hung up the phone.

The Arabs waited in the desert, still watching the flames shooting into the sky, when all of a sudden an open top truck with four Red haired Paddys comes roaring over the sand dunes and head straight into the oil field. The Arabs shouted to no avail, and the truck drove straight into one of the burning rigs. They jumped out, took off their denim jackets and proceeded to beat the fire out with them. The Arabs watched with amazement and two days later the oil rig fire was out. The four Paddys walked to the Arabs and one said...."Jazus..that was rough!"

The Arab, while writing the check for $10,000, said to Paddy; "And what are you going to buy with all this money?. "Paddy Replied: "Well, the first thing I going to buy a set of brakes for that fucking truck!"

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Teddy catches thief red-handed

A forensic science graduate caught a care assistant thieving from her sick grandmother - with the help of a camera hidden inside a teddy bear.

Emma Sampson, 21, set out to nab the thief after her grandmother, 75-year-old Thelma Sampson, noticed that money was missing from her home in Walton, Liverpool, England.

The forensic science graduate cleverly put her science skills to work and called in the help of teddy and a hidden camera.

Emma and her dad Robert devised the scheme after his mom Thelma, who has end stage leukemia, noticed £40 had gone missing from her purse.

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