A
husband and wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom
responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter
right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell
daddy that he can type that letter now."
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced,
"Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already
wrote the letter by hand."
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It
only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful
house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was
all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out...'
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you
get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by
the time she brings it to the couch.