I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than
single men. It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost
impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all
- money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful
woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked
the friend. 'My wife found out...'
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband:
Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
light on.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None.
It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife,
'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California
lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather
or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long
as you're out of the house by noon!'
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months--I don't like
to interrupt her. If your wife and a lawyer were drowning
and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
A man is incomplete until he is married. After
that, he is finished.
