1)
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it
will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living
room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone,
takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you
had set it free....... You either married it or gave birth
to it.
2) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone
in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
3) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear
tight shoes.
5) The nice part about living in a small town: When you
don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.
6) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came
today.
7) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.
8) Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while
and it shrinks two sizes!
9) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.
Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the
other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go
to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear
as a bell my body said, "Listen fatty .... do it and
die."
10) I read this article that said the typical symptoms
of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving
too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect
day.
