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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

MALE STAGES IN LIFE

AGE DRINK

17 - beer
25 - vodka
35 - scotch
48 - double scotch
66 - Maalox

AGE SEDUCTION LINE

17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 - My fiancée is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife is dead.

AGE FAVORITE SPORT

17 - sex
25 - sex
35 - sex
48 - sex
66 - napping

AGE DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

17 - "tongue"
25 - "breakfast"
35 - "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 - "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 - "Got home alive."

AGE FAVORITE FANTASY

17 - getting to third
25 - airplane sex
35 - menage a trois
48 - taking the company public
66 - Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE FAVORITE HOUSE PET

17 - roaches
25 - stoned-out college roommate
35 - German Shepherd
48 - children from his first marriage
66 - Barbie

AGE WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

17 - 25
25 - 35
35 - 48
48 - 66
66 - 17

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