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LAWYERS
IN HELL
An
attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the
Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I
have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try,
for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your
colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrasing
sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's
soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents,
and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and
law partners. The lawyer thought about this for a moment,
then asked, "So what's the catch?"
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken
to the place of eternal torment, he saw a lawyer making
passionate love to a beautiful women. "What a ripoff,"
the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity
and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon
snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
A quote attributed to one of America's founders, John Adams,
in the play 1776: "I have come to the conclusion that
one useless man is called a disgrace, two men are called
a law firm, and three or more become a Congress."
A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business
case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town
when the jury came back with its decision, which was for
the lawyer and his client. The lawyer immediately sent a
telegram to his client, reading "Justice has triumphed!"
The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"
A man woke up from surgery and his doctor told him he would
not live the night. He asked "please call my lawyer
and will you both stay here by my side?" The doctor
was silent for a moment and then asked what he had in mind?
The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either
side and I'd thought I check out the same way!"
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