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HOW
TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1)
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow
down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it.
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with,'That's what you
think.'
11) Finish all your sentences with:'In accordance with the
prophecy.'
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness
level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that
you like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation.
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically
after they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits. Wear them
one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective
if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them
what you're doing. For example, 'If anyone needs me, I'll
be in the bathroom, in Stall #3.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 999 and ask if 999 is for emergencies.(don't do
this!)
24) Call the physic hot line and don't say anything.
25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, 'I Won!
I Won! 3rd time this week!!!'
27) When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking
lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives,they're loose!'
28) Tell your boss, 'It's not the voices in my head that
bother me, its the voices in your head that do.'
29) Tell your children over dinner.'Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go.
30) Every time you see a broom, yell 'Honey, your mother
is here!'
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
31) Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even
if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff
like this.
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