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NEW COMPUTER VIRUSES

CHECK YOUR COMPUTER FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:

LEWINSKY VIRUS - sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS - quits after one byte

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - your 300mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100mb and then slowly expands to 200mb.

DR. JACK KEVORKAIN VIRUS - deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS - you can no longer insert disks into your computer.

TITANIC VIRUS - your whole computer goes down.

DISNEY VIRUS - everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS - screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUCCO VIRUS - only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS - turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.

VIAGRA VIRUS - turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive.

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