Windows
XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If
you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized
by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with
a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on
a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen
saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My
Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking
is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern
Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and
floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder
covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done
Also note that winders XP does not recognize capital letters
or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to winders XP
tiperiter...........a word processor
colering book.......a graphics program
addin mershene......calculator
outhouse paper .....notepad
jupe-box ...........CD Player
iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
pichers.............A graphics viewer
IRS.................M/S accounting software
IRS2.................M/S accounting software with hidden
files
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received
a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft
for a replacement version.
What's a penis worth? $795,000, according to a court
ruling.
The court in Bucharest, Romania, ordered a doctor to pay that amount
in compensation after surgery that went horribly wrong.
The Romanian surgeon was ordered to hand over the money to a patient
whose penis he accidentally severed during a botched operation.
The court was told that in July 2004, Dr. Naum Ciomu made a surgical
error while operating on the man's testicles, severing the penis instead
of making an incision to the testicle.