Actual
answering machine messages recorded and verified by the
World famous International Institute of Answering Machine
Answers:
1.) My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but
if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to
you as soon as we're finished washing dishes.
2.) A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons
is why we're not here. So leave a message.
3.) Hi, this is John: If you are the phone company, I already
sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend
me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4.) Hi. Now you say something.
5.) Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine
is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6.) Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7.) Hello! If you leave a message, I"ll call you soon.
If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.
8.) Hi, John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator.... Please speak very slowly while I write
down the message and I'll stick it to myself with one of
these magnets.
9.) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows
or a hot tub and their carpets are clean. They give to charity
through their office and do not need their picture taken.
If you're still with me, leave your name and number and
they will get back to you.
10.) This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic
thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your
name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach
you, and I'll think about returning your call.
11.) Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone
I don't like. Leave a message and if I don't call back,
it's you.
12.) Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone
right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until
I call you back.
13.) If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home
cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.
Otherwise we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave
us a message.
14.) Hello, you've reached Jim and Carol. We can't pick
up the phone right now, because we're doing something we
really enjoy. Carol likes doing it up and down, and I like
doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message
and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to
you.
