handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but
I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am
the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets
as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."