KINDERGARTEN
TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good of man.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment
would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion
and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve
gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has
gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side
of the road was threatening its dominant market position.
The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive
market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical
distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using
the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital
and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes
and technology in support of its overall strategy within
a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened
a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary
of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to
synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit
goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing
an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment
which was strategically based, industry focused, and built
upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and
aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.
This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black
man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample
him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before you
believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I
repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the
road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken
cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing
the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are now
genetically disposed to cross roads.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or
the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame
of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road
.. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
BILL CLINTON : I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual
relations with that chicken.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working
American.
L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT: Give us five minutes with the chicken
and we'll find out.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why
it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job
in New York.