Mulder:
We're too late. It's already been here.
Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing.
Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes:
Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort
of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings
hung by the chimney, with care.
Scully: You really think someone's been here?
Mulder: Someone or some thing.
Scully: Mulder, over here--it's fruitcake.
Mulder: Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal.
Scully: It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna
find out who's naughty and nice."
Mulder: It's judging them, Scully. It's making a
list.
Scully: Who? What are you talking about?
Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid
entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered
by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice,
this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward
its followers and punish its disbelievers with jagged chunks
of anthracite.
Scully: But that's legend, Mulder--a story told
by parents to frighten children. Surely, you don't believe
it?
Mulder: Something was here tonight, Scully. Check
out the bite marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore
through this plate of cookies was massive -- and in a hurry.
Scully: It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder,
this milk glass has been completely drained.
Mulder: It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without
remorse.
Scully: But why would they leave it milk and cookies?
Mulder: Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing
can stop its wilding.
Scully: But if this thing does exist, how did it
get in? The doors and windows were locked. There's no sign
of forced entry.
Mulder: Unless I miss my guess, it came through
the fireplace.
Scully: Wait a minute, Mulder. If you are saying
some huge creature landed on the roof and came down the
chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide.
Nothing could get through there.
Mulder: But what if it could alter its shape, move
in all directions.
Scully: You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?
Mulder: Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone
this, but when I was a child my home was visited. I saw
the creature. It had long white strips of fur surrounding
its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and
white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and
when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features
of my father.
Scully: Impossible.
Mulder: I know what I saw. And that night it read
my mind. It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. IT KNEW
I WANTED A MR. POTATO HEAD. Scully: I'm sorry, Mulder, but
you're asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want
me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across
the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys.
Listen to what you are saying. Do you understand the repercussions?
If this gets out, they'll close the X-files.
Mulder: Scully, listen to me: It knows when you
are sleeping. It knows when you're awake.
Scully: But we have no proof.
Mulder: Last year, on this exact date, S.E.T.I.
radio telescopes detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven
states. The White House ordered a Condition Red.
Scully: But that was a meteor shower.
Mulder: Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian
reindeer vanished from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C.
Nobody - not even the zookeeper - was told about it. The
government doesn't want people to know about Project Kringle.
They fear that if this thing is proved to exist, then the
public would stop spending half its annual income in a holiday
shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they
cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There's
too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure
another silent night.
Scully: Mulder, I -- Scully: On the roof. It sounds
like . . . a clatter.
Mulder: The truth is up there. Let's see what's
the matter...