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101 Ways to Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.
Read all 101 Ways to
Annoy People |
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20
REASONS CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX
- You
can GET chocolate.
- "If
you love me you'll swallow that" has real
meaning with chocolate.
- Chocolate
satisfies even when it has gone soft.
- You
can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You
can make chocolate last as long as you want it
to.
- You
can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
- If
you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't
mind.
- Two
people of the same sex can have chocolate without
being called nasty names.
- The
word "commitment" doesn't scare off
chocolate.
- You
can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk
during
- working
hours without upsetting your work mates.
- You
can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting
your face slapped.
- You
don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- With
chocolate there's no need to fake it.
- Chocolate
doesn't make you pregnant.
- You
can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- Good
chocolate is easy to find.
- You
can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can
handle.
- You
are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- When
you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors
awake. With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's
always good.
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