1.
Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as
a group.
2. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabaga
produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out.
3. Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their
paint brushes.
4. Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less
fortunate. Republicans wear theirs.
5. Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on
the bugs.
6. Democrats name their children after currently-popular
sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican
children are named after their parents or grandparents,
according to where the money is.
7. Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are
not successful. Neither are Republicans.
8. Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although
there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought
to, but don't.
9. Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.
10. Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown
out of car windows by Democrats.
11. Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows.
Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes.
12. Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang
them on the wall.
13. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to
marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to
a little fun first.
14. Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans
follow the plans their grandfathers made.
15. Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate
rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.
