YOU WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT IF...
- You understand the rationalization of an acronym comprised
- You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects
including your own, but still can't explain in the simplest
terms what they do.
- You know that the location of a meeting is directly
related to its importance:
(1) A meeting at Fort Hood requires a subordinate or a
(2) The same meeting at Lake Tahoe requires your personal
- You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job
title is an acronym.
- You've sat at the same desk for 3 years, done the same
thing for 3 years, but have had 3 different business cards.
- The process becomes more important than the product.
- You don't see anything wrong with attending a meeting
on a subject you know nothing about.
- You feel you contributed to the meeting just by being
- You realize that a paperless office is impossible. Actually,
you believe it is possible, just not in your office.
- You keep documents/manuals on projects that have been
long since canceled.
- You stop raising issues/problems because you know you
will be the one answering them.
- You fly across the country to attend a conference with
100+ people to discuss the fact that the project does
not have enough money.
- You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for
three different agencies.
- Your name plate is attached with Velcro.
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
- The office symbol on your badge is applied with tape.
- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you
- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you loose
your best jokes.
- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your
- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work.
- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
- Communication is something your group is having problems
- You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
- Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the
- Art involves a white board.
- You're already late on the assignment you just got.
- You work 200 hours for the $100 performance check and
jubilantly say, "Oh wow, thanks!"
- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few
minutes," "in your spare time," "when
you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity
- Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works
- Change is the norm.
- Nepotism is encouraged.
- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their
pictures hang in your cube.
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
- You can name more people that used to work with you
than people who do.