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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

PRESIDENT PRECEDENT

Difference Between a Bad *President* and a Bad *Precedent*

... BAD *PRECEDENT:

Tipper: "How does it feel to be the big man, Hon?"

Al: "Well Tip, it took 17 lawsuits and 18 months of election recounts, but I'd do it all again."

... BAD *PRESIDENT:

Mr. Bush, repeat after me. I do solemnly swear

- "I do solemonemoney swear..."

- that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States

- "... that I will fatally execute the official President of the United States..."

- and will to the best of my ability

- "... and will to the best of my abli-tilly ..."

- preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States

- "... preservect defenestrate the United ... the Constitual ... the ... um ... of America."

- So help me God.

- "So help me. So help my dog. Oh, God, is it over?"

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Proceed...
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I'm Poopin
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One Word to Say 2 U
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Don't Take My Teddy

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