Security Force Olympics were held recently at a top-secret
The CIA, FBI and RUC (Royal Ulster Constabulary) made it
through to the final round, in which the object was to catch
The CIA went first, and there team, consisting of 2 black-suited
Men in Black type toughs went into the nearby forest carrying
two silenced sniper rifles. After half an hour, they emerged
carrying one squirrel shot once, right between the eyes.
The FBI go next, and they send dozens of guys wearing those
luminous police type parkas in, and fly helicopters over
the forest, and set fire to bits of it and generally thrash
around making lots of noise. After 4 hours, they come out
with one slightly charred, but handcuffed and live squirrel.
So with it all to play for, the RUC send in their finest.
They have 12 massive skin-head types who had to have the
rules explained to them twice each before they understood,
and these guys disappear into the woods and aren't seen
for 6 months.
During this time, 24 hours a day, there are thumping, kicking
and beating up type noises, punctuated by the occasional
Eventually, they return, only to be told by the judges
that the time limit is up and the FBI went home with the
trophy some time ago. "and anyway" says the chief
judge, "that's not a squirrel you've got there, its
a god-damn rabbit fer chrissakes"
In reply, the chief RUC constable (who looks typically
smug) eyeballs the rabbit he is grasping by the ears and
snarls, "What are You ??"
The rabbit screams "I'm a squirrel, I'm a squirrel