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FUNNY QUOTES...7 

Humorous quotations from George Orwell, Marilyn Monroe

Sport

It ain't over till it's over. (Yogi Berri)

Some people think football is a matter of life and death…I can assure them it is much more serious than that. (Bill Shankly)


Marilyn Monroe


Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing. (Vince Lombardi)

Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules. (George Orwell)

Serious sport is war minus the shooting. (George Orwell)

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. (Emo Philips)

Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. (Darrin Weinberg)

Modern rugby players like to get their retaliation in first. (Kim Fletcher)

Last time we got a penalty away from home, Christ was still a carpenter. (Lennie Lawrence)

Miscellaneous

It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it. (Mae West)

Another fine mess you're gotten me into. (Stan Laurel)

History is more or less bunk. (Henry Ford)

The realisation that one is to be hanged in the morning concentrates the mind wonderfully. (Samuel Johnson)

Never give a sucker an even break. (W.C. Fields)

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Bert Lance)

Go ahead, make my day. (Clint Eastwood)

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. (Mark Twain)

When the going gets tough, the tough get going. (Joseph P. Kennedy)

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside…there's a thin man inside every fat man. (George Orwell)

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. (George S. Kaufman)

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. (Joseph Heller)

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. (Mark Twain)

What do I think of Western civilisation? I think it would be a very good idea. (Mahatma Ghandi)

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie…A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. (George Orwell)

It's not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on. (Marilyn Monroe, asked if she really had nothing on in a calendar photograph)

Chanel No. 5. (Marilyn Monroe, asked what she wore in bed)

Funny quotes Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7


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