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TWO
LAST GIFTS OF CREATION
Seems
God was just about done creating the universe, but he had
two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided
to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that
one of the things he had to give away was the ability to
stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple,
who he found under an apple tree. "I was wondering
if either one of you wanted that ability."
Before God had a chance to explain any further, Adam jumped
up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to,
please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability,
It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming
the animals. I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd
be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please
God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand
and pee, oh please..." Adam went on and on like an
excited little boy who had to pee.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted
that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the
sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't
mind if Adam were the one given this ability.
And so Adam was given the ability to control the direction
of his misdirection while in a vertical position. And so,
he was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark
on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.
And it was good.
"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of
leftover gifts, "What's left here? Oh yes, Multiple
orgasms..."
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