married man goes to confessional and says to the priest,
"Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost."
"What do you mean almost?" question the priest.
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then
"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,"
explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman
again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then
walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then
decides to leave. The priest quickly runs over to the man
and exclaims, "I saw that... you didn't put any money
in the poor box!"
"Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you
said, it's the same as putting it in!"