TO GET RID OF JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate
2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world
and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.
3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do
you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you
and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long
it takes for them to get flustered and leave.
4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha
& Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly.
You may have to resort to another method to actually get
rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever)
...and don't come back.
6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone
calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene
call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession
to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited
7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus,
heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it.
If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?"
in very even tones, and giggle again.
8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.
9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil.
Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress,
the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...]
throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a
#7) If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if
they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in
10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their