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101 Ways to Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.
Read all 101 Ways to
Annoy People |
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RELIGION
AS BASEBALL
Calvinists
believe the game is fixed.
Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
Quakers won't swing.
Unitarians can catch anything.
Amish walk a lot.
Pagans sacrifice.
Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.
Televangelists get caught stealing.
Episcopalians pass the plate.
Evangelicals make effective pitches.
Fundamentalists balk.
Mormons are in left field.
Dunkers are down by three.
Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
Baptists want to play hardball.
Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account
of darkness.
The Pope claims never to have committed an error.
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