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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

NUNS' WEEKEND OF SIN

It's Friday, and four nuns ask the priest at the local Catholic church for the weekend off. After some argument he finally agrees to let them leave the convent, provided they confess to him when they get back Monday morning whatever sins they have committed over the weekend.

On Monday the nuns return and the first one goes to the priest and says, "forgive me Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "what sin did you commit, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an X-rated movie." The priest looks up at heaven for a few seconds, then replies, "you are forgiven. Go drink the holy water." She goes away laughing.

The second nun goes to the priest and confesses. "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house and I hit a neighbor's dog and killed it." The priest looks to heaven for a half minute, then tells her she is forgiven and to go drink the holy water. She goes off laughing harder.

When the third nun goes up the priest, he says, "out with it. What did you do?" She says, "last night I ran naked up and down Main Street." This time the priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgive you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves laughing even harder.

The fourth nun goes up to the priest. She is laughing so hard the tears run down her cheeks. She falls on the floor with laughter. The priest asks her, "Okay. What did you do that was so funny?"

Still laughing she replies, "I pissed in the holy water."

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