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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

SEVEN DWARFS IN VATICAN

The seven dwarfs are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and Grumpy gets to meet the Pope privately. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the pontiff questions about the church, and in particular, nuns.

"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?"

"No, my son, all our sons are at least 5 feet tall."

"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"

"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Pause.

"Positive? Nobody in a habit that's about 3 feet tall, 2 feet tall?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

Grumpy looks dejected at this news, and the Pope wonders why. So he listened to the dwarfs as they leave the building. "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six.

Grumpy says: "He said they don't have any."

And the other six start chanting: "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"…

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