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Simpsons Funny Quotes...4

HOMER SIMPSON HUMOR

  • "Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."
  • "Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."
  • "And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream."
  • "Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!"
  • "Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."
  • "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."
  • "Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."
  • "Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
  • "Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible."
  • "No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."
  • "Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."
  • "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"
  • "When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."
  • "If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."
  • "Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."
  • "Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."
  • "Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!"
  • "Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."
  • "You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"
  • "Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."
  • "I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?"
  • "I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."
  • "Lisa honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?"
  • "All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."
  • ''To Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?
  • "You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."
  • "Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
  • "English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
  • "I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"
  • "Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy."
  • "I have feelings too - like ''My stomach hurts'' or ''I'm going crazy!'
  • Simpsons quotes Pages 1 2 3 4 5


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