Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets
us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."
Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the
cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar,
which is just a pipe dream."
the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making
someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people
feel good about themselves!"
good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never
want to share something with you: The three little sentences
that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that
when I got here."
you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to
watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."
you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even
though they say it's okay in the bible."
"No matter how good you are at something, there's
always about a million people better than you."
"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside
me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community
service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair
is the answer."
"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids.
So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how
I'm going to Hell?"
it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking
monsters always want'n more... more... MORE! And if you
give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return."
"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the
guy who can't speak English."
kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."
I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex.
It's also the food preparation."
"Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!"
"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory,
communism works. In theory."
think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge:
they won't let me. One quality show after another, each
one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they
only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves,
but they won't! They won't let me live!"
Teacher, mother, secret lover."
want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want
to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different
time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want
to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?"
always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there
is -- and it's me."
honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal
again? What about bacon?"
normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there
was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'.
I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win
friends with salad."
Start Press Any Key''. Where's the ANY key?
can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once,
and move on."
son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies
and kids with fake IDs."
- Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills.
Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when
ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy."
have feelings too - like ''My stomach hurts'' or ''I'm