didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no
way you can prove anything!"
Kiss you? But Dad, I'm your kid!"
thanks for the grub."
have a cow, man."
I broke his brain!"
and gentlemen, boys and girls. Contrary to what you've
just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are
no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with
the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World
War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn
more about war, there's lots of books in your local library,
many of them with cool, gory pictures."
if you're a really good person, but you get into a really,
really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has
to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?"
you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't."
"All he does is lie there like an unemployed whale."
he's pretty dumb. He's in all the same special classes
can't stand to see you so upset, Lis, unless it's from
a rubber spider down your dress - Hmm, that gives me an
idea note for later: put rubber spider down Lisa's dress."
is a time when people of all religions come together to
worship Jesus Christ."
no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made
up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
thanks to TV,' I can't remember what happened 8 minutes
ago. No, really, it's a serious problem. Ha, ha, ha! What're
we laughing about?"
"What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog?
Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite
don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why
I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"
"What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are
singing, bees are trying to have sex with them-as is my
you can always find East by staring directly at the sun."
am through with working. Working is for chumps."
just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more
time raising us than you have."
you heart, hope to die. Stick a needle in your eye. Jam
a dagger in your thigh. Eat a horse manure pie!"
you raided the college fund, the TV... Homer, you're driving
a stake through the hearts of those who love you."
you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court,
or a sleazy male stripper?"
stop pestering Satan!"
no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican."
romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover
by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece
naive to think you can change a person--except maybe that
boy who works in the library."
has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and
Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!"
not our fault our generation has short attention spans,
Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV."
is it all right to take things from people you don't like?"