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FUNNY QUOTES OF OSCAR WILDE...4

Marriage
In married life three is company and two none.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)
They flaunt their conjugal felicity in one's face, as if it
were the most fascinating of sins.
(The Picture of Dorian Gray)
Niagara Falls is the bride's second great disappointment.
Dammit, sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't
be always living for pleasure.


Man and Woman

The Book of Life begins with a man and a woman in a garden…It ends with Revelations.
(A Woman of No Importance)

Men/Women
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
(The Portrait of Dorian Gray)
Women have a much better time than men in this world. There are far more things forbidden to them.

Mind
What is mind but motion in the intellectual sphere?
(Intentions)

Misunderstood
I live in terror of not being misunderstood.

Money
When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is.

Music
Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.
(Impressions of America)

Oneself and Other People
Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself.
(An Ideal Husband)
I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.
(Lady Windermere's Fan)

Parents and Children
Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
(A Woman of No Importance)

Paying Bills
It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

Peerage
You should study the Peerage…It is the best thing in fiction the English have ever done.
(A Woman of No Importance)

Perfection
The condition of perfection is idleness: the aim of perfection is youth.
(Chameleon)

Poverty
Like dear St Francis of Assisi I am wedded to Poverty: but in my case the marriage is not a success.
(Letter)

As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
(The Soul of Man under Socialism)

Press
In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the Press.
(Fortnightly Review)

Oscar Wilde quotes Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6


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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

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