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OSCAR WILDE QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTATIONS...1

Advice
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. (An Ideal Husband)

Age
The gods bestowed on Max the gift of perpetual old age.
(Max Beerbohm)

Agreeing
Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me. I always feel that I must be wrong.
(The Critic as Artist)


America

Of course America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Americans and Paris
When good Americans die they go to Paris.
(The Portrait of Dorian Gray)

Appearances
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.
(The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Army
The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

Art and Life
All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.
(Intentions)
All art is quite useless.
(The Portrait of Dorian Gray)

Behind one's back
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.

Belief
I can believe anything as long as it is incredible.

Books
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.
(The Picture of Dorian Gray)

British
To many, no doubt, he will seem blatent and bumptious, but we prefer to regard him as being simply British.
(Pall Mall Gazette)

Business
It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties.
(The Importance of Being Earnest)

Conversation
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.
(An Ideal Husband)

Cricket
I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

Debt
One must have some sort of occupation nowadays. If I hadn't my debts I shouldn't have anything to think about.
(A Woman of No Importance)

Oscar Wilde quotes Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6


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101 Ways to Annoy People

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Read all 101 Ways to Annoy People

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