USEFUL OFFICE PHRASES

• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
• How about never? Is never good for you?
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
• You sound reasonable: Time to up my medication.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
• I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
• Who me? I just wander from room to room.
• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
• At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
• You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.