COMPANY PROGRAM - S.H.I.T.
wanted to share with you a new program the company I work
for is instituting. It is called 'Special High Intensity
Training'. Here is the memo we received:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained, through our program of Special
High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give
our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else does.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately
placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers
are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T.
you can handle. Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training
(E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,
because they are full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a
job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who
are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and
can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming
(D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). If you have any questions, please direct
them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training
Boss In General
Special High Intensity Training